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A popular theory says, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I don’t know if that is true or not. I believe you are influenced to some degree by a lot of different associations you have. It is up to you to decide who you choose to be influenced by. I do understand the basic meaning of the theory. A certain group of associates can indeed influence you positively or negatively. I have chosen not to be influenced by negative people even if I find myself in their presence from time to time. I find it much better to surround myself with people who have a positive mindset. There are times when you need to look around and see how those around you are conducting themselves. Are they lifting you or bringing you down? You may be surprised to know that if you are unhappy with your life right now, one of the reasons might be because of the people you choose to associate with daily. Psychologist Dr. David McClelland concluded that the people you associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure in life. That’s a stunning percentage. As humans, we are social beings and respond to our environment. It’s a fact that we are often influenced by what we are directly and consistently associated with. Oftentimes, we may not even realize we are being influenced by someone or by our environment. The influence doesn’t just happen overnight. It develops over some time until it becomes normalized. You’ve heard parents say, my kid is good, he was just hanging out with a bad crowd. There is some truth to that. Peer pressure is real. It doesn’t just happen with kids. It’s real for adults as well. We all want to belong and be accepted, so we find ourselves acquiescing to the group. That’s fine if the group is having a positive influence and helping us to achieve a better life.

To understand this, we need to ask ourselves three key questions. These questions come from American Business Philosopher Jim Rohn's book, Leading an Inspired Life. Question one, who am I around? Take note of the people you most often associate with and evaluate them. What type of behaviors are they exhibiting? Is it something you want to emulate? Question two, what effect are they having on me? Look at the things you are doing and saying, the places you are going, and how you feel when you are with them. Question three, is this, OK? Some associates may be a good positive influence. On the other hand, some may be a negative draining influence. This is where you have to take an honest objective look and make some hard decisions. Decide where you want to go and what you want your life to be like. After evaluating, it’s time to divide your associations into three distinct categories; disassociation, limited association, and expanded association.

Disassociation. This is the most difficult one to deal with. Sometimes you just need to cut people completely off. It can be a very difficult thing to do. The truth is we rarely choose to get out of our comfort zone. It’s safe there. We know exactly what we are dealing with. However, if you are dealing with negative people, and you are unable to steer them in a positive direction, it’s time to let them go. This doesn’t mean they can never again be in your circle. But if they do resurface, it must be with a better vibe and a more positive influence than before. Just remember, you can’t change people, they have to decide to change.

Limited Association. This is exactly what it sounds like. Limit the amount of time you spend with certain people. There are certain circumstances when we may not be able to avoid someone completely, such as co-workers, relatives, friends, or acquaintances. We can spend a few minutes, but not hours, these are people we can spend a few minutes with. We have relatives, friends, or acquaintances we see at functions and might find ourselves spending an hour or two, but never a day or two.

Expanded Association. This means spending more time with the right people. The right people are those who empower and inspire you, hold you accountable, and celebrate your success. To live up to your potential and accomplish your goals, put yourself in a position to meet the type of people to help you get there. Joining organizations, social groups, and distinguished clubs is a good way to establish those connections. Remember, you will always attract in life to what you are. That’s why being fake rarely works long-term. Be your genuine self and the right people will migrate towards you. Don’t be stymied by people holding you back when making your dreams and goals a reality. Take a hard look around you. It just might be time for an upgrade!"

Mindset Maintenance

What exactly does mindset maintenance mean? The simple explanation is the way we view things. Our mindset is often influenced by our life experiences and values. At any given moment, it can directly impact the level of happiness, sadness, motivation, or grief we are experiencing. We can control how we live our lives by controlling our mindset. There are two types of mindsets; fixed and growth.

People with a fixed mindset believe that qualities, like intelligence, ability, or talent, are fixed, unchangeable traits. Since they typically believe these abilities are inherited or God-given, they don’t spend time or effort developing them. For example, have you ever heard someone say something like, my dad was a plumber, my grandaddy was a plumber, and his father was a plumber? Plumbing is in my blood so that’s what I do. From that point on, all they desire to do is plumbing. They don’t think about or aspire to do anything else. Now I’m not picking on plumbers. They make a very good living. I know, I’ve had to pay a few. That’s just a basic example of a fixed mindset. Individuals with a fixed mindset typically shy away from challenges, fearing that poor performance or failure will confirm that they are unable to accomplish a particular task or goal. It will be very difficult to embrace change, growth, or goal accomplishment with this limited thought process. To advance beyond your current set of circumstances, you need to have a growth mindset.

People with a growth mindset embrace the idea of challenge, growth, and advancement. They view obstacles and even mistakes as opportunities to learn and prosper. They believe they can develop their abilities through hard work, persistence, and asking for help when needed. A Growth mindset empowers you to take risks and keep trying until you succeed. Failure is not an option. Much of mindset maintenance begins with conditioning your mind into speaking and believing what you desire into existence. Dr. Norman Vincent Peale wrote a book titled “The Power of Positive Thinking.” In this book, he writes about how a growth mindset and a positive attitude can propel you to great heights and help you succeed in all aspects of your life. A big part of mindset maintenance is developing a daily routine of generating positive energy.

Each of us can consciously control our thoughts, which can lead to increased happiness and a healthier, better life. This begins with self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to focus objectively on how your actions, thoughts, and emotions affect you, others, and all aspects of your life. A positive mindset can help you think more clearly, focus, and live stress-free. On the other hand, a negative mindset can drain you, keep you depressed, and unable to grow beyond your current circumstances. There are many ways to groom your mind into a routine of positive energy. The key is to find something that works for you. For me, it is a daily incantation and reading a positive message every day. What works for one person, might not work for someone else. Whether is listening to a song, meditating, exercising, or taking a walk, find a way to get your day started with a positive vibe. One very important piece to this puzzle is to schedule time for your mindset maintenance. No matter what you have going on in your day, don’t neglect your mind. Your peace, sanity, and livelihood depend on it.