The Answer is No!

Learn how to say "No" More Often

Do you ever feel like you’ve lost control of your life? Are you spending too much time doing things you don’t enjoy? Are you just appeasing others? There’s a good chance that saying “no” more often would bring some relief. Most people feel uncomfortable saying “no”. But that small two letter word can provide a great deal of relief.

Use the word “no” more often:

1.      You’ll have more free time.  Do you have enough free time to pursue your own hobbies and interests? If the answer is no, then try declining a few requests? You’re more able to help others if you also give yourself priority. There’s nothing left to give if you don’t allow yourself to unwind.

·         Determine how much free time you need each week and stick to that schedule. Don’t allow someone else’s needs or interest to override yours.

2.      Saying “no” gives you more control over your life. When you say “yes” too much, you’re allowing others to dictate your schedule for you.

·         Happiness is elusive when you don’t believe you have control over your life. Do what you can to help others, but never give up control over your life.

3.      You have a better chance of achieving your goals. When you say “yes,” you’re helping others reach their goals. Give yourself the same consideration. Your goals are important, too. Ensure you have enough time to address your own dreams.

·         You can’t achieve a big goal without giving it consistent attention. Determine how much time you need to work towards your goals and be disciplined.

4.      Set boundaries. Relationships with friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, and romantic partners all require boundaries. Otherwise, people will take advantage of you because they know they can get away it. Avoid being afraid to say “no” when the situation calls for it.

·         There are certain limits on each person in your life. It’s up to you to choose and enforce those limits.

5.      Saying “no” keeps your values intact. Sometimes we’re asked to do things that sacrifice our values. Friends might ask you to lie for them. A coworker might ask you to cover for them.

·         When you’re asked to do something that conflicts with your values, you can protect your integrity by saying, “no”.

6.      Other people won’t be able to take advantage of you. If you haven’t been taken advantage of, you haven’t been paying attention. Whether it’s loaning $5 for gas or watching your neighbor’s pet for the weekend, we’ve all be hung out to dry at least a few times.

·         You don’t have to let others take advantage of your kindness. It’s not admirable. It’s self-destructive. You’re not required to constantly give just because you can. Have respect for yourself and expect respect from others, too.

7.      Realize that people aren’t as sensitive to rejection as you think. People that struggle to say the word “no” believe that the other person will be upset or hold it against them. You’ll likely find that the other person will understand your refusal. The next time will be even easier. After all, what would they do if you weren’t available for them?

You don’t have to say “no” to every request. After all, it’s good to help other people out occasionally. But saying “yes” to everything creates stress and eliminates our free time. This isn’t acceptable. Value your time and energy. You’ll have more to give if you take care of yourself.